Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Two different species, men and women, trying to communicate by one language, with varying success. The book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' by John Gray suggests this, and multiple people agree with it. But just how true is that statement?
Deficit
In 1975, Robin Lakoff conducted a study comparing men and women's speech. She concluded that women are more polite, and use more specific linguistic techniques (such as; hedges, empty adjectives, and tag questions), but that men have a better sense of humour, and that their language was superior and more desirable. Her theory was published as "The Deficit Model", since women's speech was deficient to men's. Considering the context of 1975, this is understandable, where ladies were meant to be lady-like, and submit to what men told them. However, this theory can be argued obsolete, since times have changed in the 43 years since this study.
Dominance
Zimmerman and West conducted a similar study, comparing the amount of times men and women interrupt each other, studying both same-sex and mixed-sex conversations. They concluded that men interrupt more often than women. However, the validity of this theory is questionable, since the theory was published in 1975 and it was never specified what, exactly, an interruption was, since an interruption could be polite, a sign of interest in the subject. The theory was christened "The Dominance Model", since it claimed men dominate a conversation. A study by Beattie countered this model, describing men and women to interrupt equally in conversation.
Difference
More recently (and thus arguably the more reliable of the three) "The Difference Model" was published in by Deborah Tannen 1989, she is credited for her book "You just don't understand". This model simply suggests that men and women belong to different sub-cultures and preferences. Tannen believes that men see a complaint as a challenge, and talking as information with a practical purpose; And that women hedge their orders (to slyly manipulate men), and are reluctant to openly oppose others. Her model has been expanded by several throughout the years; Jenifer Coates in 1989 stated how all female-talk is co-operative; Koenraad Kuiper in 1991 put forward his study of a rugby team, concluding that men see 'saving face' with less importance; Jane Pilkington in 1992 built on this further, suggesting men are less supportive to each other.
These theories can all be argued old-fashioned but despite the changes in society, parts of all the models have held up. So, Are men from Mars and women from Venus?
